Lightning Round

Already my favorite castaway, ginger is now also my favorite smell.

I understand it wouldn’t be used often but I would like to nominate >} as the official emoticon for cleavage.

I’m sure its not just me but whenever I hear that song “Mmbop” by Hanson I just want to skip down the street, eating an ice cream cone. With F@#$ING SPRINKLES!

I think if he were still alive (hard not to get emotional right now), Fred Berry-Rerun on the TV show "Whats Happening", would have made an excellent judge on the show "So You Think You Can Dance".

I’m glad I wasn’t invited to the royal wedding. Sure, it was the social event of the season, but I couldn’t handle the stress of picking out a wedding gift. What do you get a prince and princess? I’m sure they don’t need a blender or a dust buster or a gravy boat. I can’t even imagine what was on their gift registry. A private island in the south Pacific? The Mona Lisa? And I wouldn’t want to take the easy way out and write a song. That’s something Elton John would do.

You ever look at that guy Russell Brand and think “Now that’s a guy I wouldn’t mind seeing being mauled by a bear? I do.

If my significant other ever approached me and said “We are going to be on the Jerry Springer Show”, I’d just pack my things and leave right then and there. I don’t want to be told whatever she’d have to say on TV, or quite frankly, hear it at all.

And speaking of the Jerry Springer Show, I’m hopeful there will be a day where legislation is passed where guests are spade or neutered immediately after their appearance. If not all, then at least just the men who are in love with a cross dresser, and claim to have never noticed she was a he, even after being intimate. That type of stupidity or disregard for the truth should not be bred.

How bad to do you think the outfits are that Lady Gaga rejects?

When ever someone says “they” in a statement, such as “They say keeping your wallet in your back pocket causes lower back pain” or “They say it takes Styrofoam 1 million years to decompose”, I think it’s a fairly safe assumption that “They” are the Russians.